|Monday, April 17th, 2006|
|KENNEL IS KIND OF LIKE SAILING ON A CIGARETTE
my cat had a birthday we cooked it soup a bear ate it we named the bear picasso and then kissed him on the mouth
LONG STORY SHORT I HAVE A PET BEAR NAMED PICASSO WE MAKE OUT LIKE WHOA
|Friday, April 14th, 2006|
|ABOUT A BEER
WHAT ELSE IS I"M SICK OF THESE FUCKING WHORE SLUTS WHO EVERY TIME I HIT A BUTTON IT SAYS "this journal is friends only"
FUCKING I WILL SODOMIZE A PIG!!!!!!
|SUCK SUCK SUCK
A POEM ABOUT A MONKEY:
all they seem to do is
maniacal and a bit
A POEM ABOUT A HORSE:
once in a while they
make me want to
crash my car
A POEM ABOUT A SPERM DONAR:
to be a
sperm donar there is
some sort of
that is to say
don't want no short short man
A POEM ABOUT A COMPUTER JOURNAL:
such creations are about as fun as
on a beach
MORE LATER ON THE POETRY I'VE FINALLY FOUND MY NICHE MY CALLING MY MEANING OF LIFE!
p.p.s- paid account options: post by phone. are you for serious livejournal? are you really?
|Thursday, April 6th, 2006|
|Saturday, April 1st, 2006|
myabe sti em utb i kown taht im gnoing to bealate
BUT ABOUT MY PET GOAT
HE ATE CAFFEINE PILLS
HE MARRIED YOUNG
WHEN ONCE A BICYCLE RACE CAME CRAWLING DOWN
HE WAS SOMEWHAT OF A
|Monday, February 27th, 2006|
UPDATE TWICE IN ONE CADILLAC HAVE A LIVE
|SAMANTHA IS A PORN STAR AND ANGEL IS A CENTERFOLD
i knew that one day
ONE DAY HARRY
i'd have a birthday
a birthday to top all mexican pizzas
all ice cream floats
root beer vagina's and sex on a subway. IN A FUNNY HAT NONETHELESS. NONETHELESS AND MOREOVER AND WHATSOEVER AND NOWANDAGAINANDFOREVERANDADAY.
It's pretty funny when you use a livejournal type thing and it's pretty funny to be pretty funny when the groceries need WATERING YOU FUCKING FILTHY FUCKING WHORE FUCK YOU!
|Wednesday, October 26th, 2005|
|You are probably taking your life too serious. people probably dislike you more than you realize.
tonight, while walking through the mall, i slapped an aligator with my vagina of a penis. Right in the kisser. Security arrived. Parrots squaked: "What about the celebration! Squak! What about the celebration?!" They said. I thought about leaving, but the smell of freshly baked cookies kept me around, as I hadn't eaten in days by this time. There was a man named dog. A dog named billy. A billy club clocked me in the face, I woke up in a holding cell in protective custody for my own good. i only wanted to have some fun. All I wanted to do was have some fun. I just wanted to jhave some fun. Why can I never just have some fun. Good times food fight the good times the good times the food fight is killing me!
saturnalia ha ha it's like las vegas is screaming our creed!
|Monday, October 3rd, 2005|
|Sunday, September 11th, 2005|
|satyr sat alone all day
i've lost some weight
i'm feeling better
there are plenty of job opportunities
for a fine gentleman like yourself
feet still twitch, head hurts, prescriptions will run out in time
and i'm sure you'll all survive. just loot the damn place. (mythical ethical iceicle tricicle)!
|Monday, August 22nd, 2005|
Yesterday there were six bags left in the pizza house. We took liberties with laps and sized....
Wait, hold on a minute. Hold it right there. We're gonna go watch a baseball game. Thanks to who gonna is a word. Who? 50 g's. Thanks for all the ammunition. We'll have a powwow. Smack him for me, he's a champion of mustard seeds wasted on the ground.
|Saturday, August 20th, 2005|
THE ONLY CHILDREN OF A WHORE WHO WAS ALLOWED ADMITTANCE INTO THE FINEST SPECTACLE OF DEBACLE OF ORACLE WAS ONLY LAUGHING ON THE INSIDE BECAUSE HER WOMB WAS A TOMB AND HER BRAIN HAD LIATERS AND SYNAPSES BURNT!
tastes like chalk to me said Syranac
tastes like chalk to me
|Thursday, August 18th, 2005|
|GLAD NEY TO HELP YEEE!!!!
you've got your HEAD in the clouds and you're not at all what you seeeeeeeemmM@!M!MM!M!M!M!!!!!!! YOAUR AOSUNOINSF and you're somebody int hanksgiving ritua l of the on ly daughter wanter criminal and a body of a water a water a water!
|Sunday, August 14th, 2005|
traveling traveling traveling traveling traveling traveling sick is a nuisance traveling sick is a nuisance nuisance and misery nuisance and swine!
licorice holes in my wetsuit make for daring party snacks not TV DINNERS!
|Sunday, July 31st, 2005|
|naked women remind me of sesame street and cake
i'm not afraid of anything be it man or beast. bleeding skin or surround sound. either way i'll win the championship and design myself a pirate spectacle while sleeping with the captain of this ship.
|FAT FAT FAT
who said luther vandross was an innuendo? he's filled with steak. and whether or not saddness is a flavor is determined by the DIRECTIONS GIVEN TO US BY THE MEAK WILL INHERIT THE EARTH!
|Wednesday, July 27th, 2005|
|saskatoon my planet is small
catamarando macho man takes full lance habit as felt filled cats smack trash at a rabbit while I smoke tolls through suicide ridge I aint met a man I couldn't outlive
I never met a god I never met a woman I never met a god i could not be loved by
never met a god met a woman met a god met a woman met a woman met a woman met a fish
|Sunday, July 24th, 2005|
|sac re LIGious
tomorrow morning we were cruising at a steady altitude of seventy five thousand hectars when suddenly BLAM POLICE K9 UNITS EVEN THE MAN WHO PLAYS SANTA CLAUSE WERE THERE. it was hilarious until spencer the whale dropped a 10 pound note from the washing machine of a roadside berry hawker. chaos ensued. people were pissed. very pissed. we steadied ourselves against the oak trees nearby. alligators emerged from the swamp, checked out the noise. people were pissed.
nobody in sight had a cigarette. everybody had matches. we wondered what intangible forces might be trying to tell us something our fragile minds couldn't handle or grasp. after years of faithfully and concistently abusing our bodies, all we craved was booze. sleep wasn't even an option. women appeared. heads shaved, sporting identical tattoos above their navels. letters and numbers, some sort of tracking code, identification marker. at the rate we were going insurance wasn't something we considered as a part of reality. and who would afford it if we did?
we left no footprints. we had no souls. we broke windows and hearts, smeared blood on the bar stools and saddled up horses in winter.
the golden age would be our friend again.